Saturday 10 March 2012

Downer

It's been a good run I guess, but last night I had one of my funny turns in the night. Sort of out of the blue really. Haven't had one of these episodes since the summer. I really believed I was over these, that I had recovered significantly enough that I wouldn't experience these funny night time episodes again.
I had been out for dinner with friends and was having a good time but at about 10pmish I noticed my pulse was racing. It does tend to do this when I get tired. I didn't feel tired. I felt unwell for about 5 minutes, but that passed and I stayed at the restaurant until 11ish. My Heart rate was still up when I went to bed, so high i didn't dare take my pulse because I knew that knowing how high it was would make me feel worse. I was thirsty and didn't get to sleep too well. Then I woke about 3am with all the old symptoms. I woke Ant who was fab and tried to calm me as we knew what was coming. It was a slow process, took a while before my body started shaking. It was less forceful than it has been before which was a relief. Then I didn't sleep well which of course just compounds things. This morning my heart was still racing I had a headache and feel weak especially in my legs.
As for the cause, who knows, but there are two possible things that spring to mind. On Tuesday afternoon I kicked a football around the garden with the kids and although it wasn't anything too crazy, there was some physical exertion there. Felt good at the time. Secondly, on Thursday the girls received the results of their first ever GCSE results and this was very emotional.  You often wonder if you are doing the right thing when choosing to home educate your children and as their results were good I felt a huge sense of relief and emotion.  I know from past experience that high emotions like this can take their toll on my well being.
Who knows, but this is a huge dissappointment and I suspect that the psychological effects of last night's episode will be harder to get over than the physical ones.
This afternoon we are supposed to be going out to dinner to celebrate. I am spending the day in bed in the hope I feel strong enough to go with them. My beta blockers have already worked on my heart rate and slowed it down which feels better.

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