Pushing through

Not a good day today.  It's only 9.30 in the morning and I don't feel good.  Nauseous, weary, heavy in the head and legs.  Not really sure what's brought this on, I've had a few lateish nights (after 10pm) and done a lot of driving in the last four days, more than normal.
7pm now, Ant is home, has fed me and I've taken myself off to bed.  My legs feel so weak.  Had lots of important phone calls today as well as some ferrying of DS1, haven't really been able to sit back and relax.  Today was supposed to be my cleaning day, no way I could have done that.  This makes me a bit sad, I switched the cleaners to fortnightly because I thought I could manage in between, but only three weeks in I haven't managed.  Perhaps I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

Bit of a mixed week this week.  After a good Cranial Osteopathy appointment on Friday, I felt rotten when I woke on Saturday.  Nauseous and tired.  I'm sure this was once again linked to my monthly cycle which just seems to exasperate my CFS symptoms.  I felt better by Monday and then had a good Perrin apppointment on Tuesday.  I came away from the appointment with two back exercises to do using my newly purchased back roller.

These new back exercises are now incorporated in my daily routine.

Had a lovely yoga class on Wednesday.  I am so close to trying a proper full blown yoga class, not sure what's stopping me really.  It's probably that I don't want to try and then find I can't do it, that I'm not ready for it yet.  It's all to do with state of mind.  At the moment my mind thinks my body is pretty strong (relatively - against where it has been), so I don't want to show it otherwise by doing something I'm not ready for.  At some point I am just going to have to try it and see.

On Thursday evening I took DD2 to the city to see a show.  It was a 45 minute drive away.  I didn't know the venue and when we got there I discovered that there was no seating and that we would be stood for the whole show.  This wouldn't have been so bad except that the start of the show was delayed by 1 hour 15 minutes due to the bad weather.  This delay meant that I stood for much longer than would have been the case, about three hours all told.  For about an hour of that time I was doing battle with an ape of a man who was pushing against me trying to create a space where there wasn't one, for his girlfriend to stand in.  I sat on an uncomfortable step for the final half hour of the show.  My legs were tired, my back ached and I still had the drive home to do.  We got home at 11.30pm where I promptly fell into bed.  I felt rough on Friday morning, but recovered as the day went on which was useful as I had another longish drive to do Friday afternoon.  These events still do have an effect on my body, but I'm sure there is no doubt that they do not make me feel as bad as they used to and that I recover from them much more quickly.

Cranial osteopathy

Had a great appointment with my cranial osteopath yesterday.  He said my system was the best he has seen it since I started going there over two years ago.  This is great news and made me feel really good about things.  I was feeling so good about it I didn't even drive straight home, I stopped to pick up some shopping and at a friends for a drink and chat on my way home.  Even when I got home I didn't collapse on the sofa for the rest of the day as I normally do after a treatment, I actually managed to cook dinner first and then took to the sofa!  The treatment definitely calmed my systems internal agitation again.

Energy to clean

Last week I asked the cleaners that had been coming to clean for me once a week if they would mind coming once a fortnight.  I wanted to see how I managed with trying to do the cleaning in the alternate weeks.
Tuesday is the day they would normally come so yesterday I set about the cleaning.  In the past cleaning is something that has eaten in to my precious energy VERY quickly.  A short burst of cleaning often left me with a horrible malaise and complete fatigue.  Yesterday I was hoping to clean my en suite bathroom, the family bathroom, the downstairs cloakroom and the kitchen.  I managed the three bathrooms in an hour and then I knew I needed a sit down and thought I would take a rest and tackle the kitchen later.  Once I sat down however I realised how much energy I had used and decided that the kitchen could wait another day and that I should be happy with what I had achieved that day.  This is the new sensible me talking.  So, I think it went pretty well.  I stopped just before I'd overdone it and I felt good about what I'd done.  The cleaners will be back again next week to mop up what I fail to do.  I've discovered I still don't like cleaning, but that's another issue!

Sleep

Wednesday
Aaaagh!  This morning I woke at 3.20am and didn't go back to sleep.   I never sleep well the night after a Perrin treatment, but it's not normally that bad.  Yesterday morning it was 4.15am. I laid there for a while and then got up at 5.30am. This morning I stayed in bed willing myself to go back to sleep, but it didn't happen.  I can't understand why my sleep should be deteriorating when my general health is improving?
Friday
Recovery from my latest Perrin appointment on Tuesday was good, best ever actually.  I'm now moving to   appointments every three weeks which will save a bit of money, but I'm nervous about doing - I want to keep the pressure up on my body.
Yesterday I took the kids swimming.  There are several good things about this; firstly, I organised the trip on Monday and told the children we would be going to the pool on Thursday and we did!  This is called planning, something I haven't been able to do for a long time.  Two things have changed to enable me to do this 1) I am feeling physically stronger a great deal of the time and 2) as a result of number 1) some sort of mental switch has happenned in my head and I am looking forward rather than just working to get through each individual day.
The second good thing was after saying on Monday that we would go swimming on Thursday we actually did.  I was feeling well enough to go through the hassle of driving there and back, changing rooms, showers and getting cold in the pool whilst keeping a 6 year old occupied and safe.  To someone with normal energy levels this probably doesn't sound like a big deal, but I haven't taken my son swimming on my own in over three years.  If I have been in the pool with him in that time I always have Ant or a big sis there so that when I get cold, which happens pretty quickly I can get out and leave the others in the pool.  Struggling to regulate body temperature is a common symptom of ME and some thing I have previously struggled with.
On top of all the above I also swam 125 metres - one lot of 75 and one lot of 50.  I was going to do one more 25, but wisely stopped myself.  My biceps and triceps are so weak, it is very noticeable when trying to swim.  I also climbed 144 steps to the tops of different slides and got pretty cold, but I spent the whole hour in the pool.
Afterwards my thighs were so heavy, and as if they were full of lactic acid, but other than that I felt fine.  I also slept really well 10pm to 4am with no disruption.  Then I woke again at 5am and couldn't go back to sleep.  This afternoon I was tired.  I think all these early mornings are catching up with me and I went off for a 45 minute sleep this afternoon as I am going out this evening and might be a little late back.  I will also be driving forty five minutes each way this evening.
The swimming expedition could still hit me tomorrow, but I'm really starting to think that it might not.